U + ME = ?

Hi everyone, Thanks for your lovely comment as always :-) I hope your week is going great?..Its almost Chrsitmas!

So I just read LadyNgo's post...lol.She is funny..Ok moving on..Recently I have been asked why do I say I will not date a particular male friend of mine suppose he ask me out plus we look good together..This guy is just awesome, I mean intelligent, good head on his neck ;), God fearing, gentle, calm, very respectful, involve in church, humble!, neat, ambituous, good family, friendly, tall, fit, nice voice :D, oya add the list :)...Well my thing is yea he seem to have everything, I mean we have great good chemistry, we can talk for hours having meaningful conversations, we seem to understand each other, He accepts my invites when he can make, we respect each other, my friends all like him even my aunt was trying talk me into him, he has been there for me, and he tells me his plans and all..BUT I cant date him even if he ask me out..

Why?

Well, when I was in school and single, I met him and we became friends. We had good long conversations, went to church together, and all the above I mentioned. Thing is we flirted back and forth even if I never admitted to my friend I dont mind dating him at the time. I mean everything was jolly jolly, we joke about marriage and talk about important things. Then on one lovely afternoon, my computer decided to act up, given that this dude is an engineer, I called him up and was like what do I do? So we concluded that I will backup all my files in his usb since I didnt have a usb with so much gigs as his. So I dressed up, headed to the school library. On getting there, we started doing the backup while gisting and laughing and flirting. Then I was like can I see some of your pics since its only fb pics I see..He was hesistant. I pushed his hand off his laptop and clicked on the picture folder..As it opened, I saw a file named "baby" *-* (in my head i'm like bay gini?)..Huh? I clicked on it, lo and behold different pictures of a pretty girl .He was quiet and he had a look on his face (you know the look of a rat you catch in your kitchen eating your fish? yea he had that look on his face) I said, is she your girlfriend? he said yeaa...I said oh she is pretty..So where is she and how long have you been dating? He said she was in Naija and they have been dating for about 3 years then i think..I said, cool...so is she planning to move over or you are relocating back home after school? dude said he will visit in 2013 abi na 2016...I was shocked in my head oh..Really? I mean thats a long time away..Neways long story short, I felt so so stupid like how can I start liking another woman's man..Seriously? I do not share, so I wont like another woman to share with me..So, I backed off asap and I told myself never to flirt with any guy except my hubby of course. The feelings that was about to develop kukuma died oh..Few days later, he blocked his friendlist on fb. Neways around the time I broke off with the ex-mr was the time he broke up with his gf..my friends were like, finally! there is hope..I said uhm who cares?..
Why do Nigerian guys act weird when they move abroad? thats a topic for another day sha..its weiiiiiird..


So, my reason for saying I wont date him if he present himself  is, even if we seem to be really cool with each other and somewhat close (cos I backed off more even after his breakup), if he could be flirting with me and all that jazz why his babe in naija might be thinking her bobo was faithful, then I would have a hard time trusting him if I date him..I mean how do someone act cool like they are not taken when in reality they are taken? I just think its not fair, cos if i didnt find out through the laptop incident, he didnt seem like he will say anything..That seem like a case of lemme lead you on and have a spare tire just incase..Although we are still very good friends right now, I was really disappointed. Also, it wasnt fair to his gf at that time, I know distance distance no easy, thats why I always I will not promise you I will come back for you when leaving a country for long (especially transatlantic love) because I do not know what type of cupid arrow awaits me there. I just feel like in future, if we start dating and he has to relocate to another country or place, he might repeat the same thing which I wont like..Bottom line, he is my friend but I do not or cant trust him to be my partner even if he is ......

So what do you think? too shallow a reason or not? Oya lets yarn..

Have a wonderful week :-)

Where do all the bad people go?

Hello,
Fine fine baby, bolanle :-) random ey?.How are you fine fine people? Thanks so much for your comments, you are too sweet..I get what most of you wrote, some people just want privacy while some will learn eventually.I will act accordingly.. Moving on-----------------

One thing about me is that I like to know wonder what is going on in the mind of a convict/proclaimed bad person. Lets say, if a person is caught stealing, I always wonder how the thief feels and how much self persecution they might be going through..Thats just me, maybe thats why I keep looking for job openings in the prison.*-* Which leads to my post for today which was inspired by a blog I read today and a comment about anger being a trigger to abuse.. You know how most people say when you are in an abusive relationship, run for your life. I wonder what happens to the abuser? I mean does the abuser mention the real reason while there last relationship broke down? Are all abusers mandated to serve or are they doomed for a lifetime of loneliness? Shey every cupid arrow flying their way must be sent back to the sender? or cupid must go on vacation when they decided to change and find love again? Do they really change or the abusive actions is suppressed? I personally think they can change with God's grace and counselling etc but it will take time and lots of time which cant be done while in a relationship..

For instance, if the abuser decides to go for anger management assuming that is the root cause of their behaviour, will they still be qualified to go back into the dating realm? I wonder if people would appreciate a man/woman who tells the real reason (they were abusive) their previous relationships broke down..Or if the abuser eventually change say in ninetygbogboro years, should they cover that dark past to find love again abi they should take the risk of saying the truth and risk being lonely..Ha i guess thats one of the price you pay or is it? Personally, i think abusers mention their dark past in new relationships but in a subtle sugar coated way. My ex ones said he was talking to his ex-girlfriend and when she tried walking out on him, he held her back and next thing she flew on the bed. Uhmm that wont register in ones head right away as he pushed or hit her and she flew on the bed rather its seen as minor misunderstanding. I guess this is were educating oneself more about current topics such as domestic violence, is very important.

 Lets discuss, can you date/marry someone who tells you about their past as an abuser and steps they have taken to change over the years? Should this bad people be forever restricted from loving even after efforts to change? Should we keep running from them? Change isnt easy and it takes time..

In my opinion, why is it that men have to forgive a wife or girlfriend that shows signs of abuse but for the guys, people say run for your life? dont you think it should be the same? I mean if the lady shows those red flags, men should run or perhaps men now have the I am Jesus aka Saviour mindset that their love will change the lady.. Ha this whole love thing, people have plenty interpretation oh..

I shall always maintain my stand, if your relationship is beginning to look like an atilogu or new masquerade dance competition, you better find your levels..Its not love its stupidness..

I dont believe anyone should wait around for an abuser to change. Just maybe and maybe your departure might make them see the light who knows? Ha, that doesnt mean you should go back or does it? is there still hope? As for me, the past must stay in the past including every ex that treated me as crap but in another person's life, they can be a future just not mine.abi I  lie?

Have a wonderful weekend :-)

Transatlantic: I only talk to married people because they have more experience..

Hi everyone!...Thanks so so much for the congrats :)...

Ok so let dig in to whats been on my mind...
I was wondering is it possible to have a relationship with a guy you have never laid eyes on except of course pictures? I was watching a movie called "the perfect man" and the lady said the same statement mentioned above. Neways, personally I dont know how people survive transatlantic, intercontinental, interstate relationships with people they havent met? My last relationship was interstate and I keep saying to my friends, if I cant drive to go visit the guy, then I am not interested. Do you think that is too harsh of a requirement? This is because a friend said its more like limiting myself. I also said even if I meet the guy in my base but he was just visiting, I wont be interested...So whats your opinion on this transatlantic, intercontinental, interstate relationships?

Another question I have is, ok lemme say it. I have a good friend dating transatlantic and from the little she told me, it sounds like she isnt happy. Personally, she has confided in me and I told her what I thought about the guy's attitude.T hen she says she cant tell me much because  she knows him alot and I might misread things. What bothers me so much is that I know her so well and I know that is not what she wants in a guy, i see it as settling but she dont see it that way. Okay what do you make of the statement, I wish he has more passion for .....(which is important to her) than....The guy said you have to like what I like.. Recently I asked her whatsup? and she sounded okay. I said fine, you know your guy is across the ocean and you havent met him, I believe its better to talk to people who know you well about your problems. She said she cant talk to me about it except married people who have lots of experience. I said well fine I do hope they give you wise counsel but I still believe you should talk to those who know you very well. Most of the married people are not that close to you nor know you. Judging from experience, it was a married woman I confided in during by abusive relationship and she just said I am overacting. So my point was, married or not, if people aint in a good place they cant give you proper counsel. I didnt know how to react with her point of discussing her relationship with only married people only but whatever is going to help her make the best decision, i encourage her to go for..So my bloggers, what do you think?

I look forward to your input. Have a wonderful weekend.

I PASSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi everyone!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I am so excited. I got my result from the exam I had to retake which i cried about here ..Ha I have been screaming..I PAAASSSSSSEEEED. Omg I just dont know how to rejoice anymore..Its official..I can start my career..omg.

I know I didnt say how the exam went but it went great when got back from blogger break. The prep course, prayers, fasting, encouragement from family, friends and bloggers helped me stay strong..I just thank God..I dont know how to contain myself now but this a huge relief, a big chip off my shoulder..God I thank you oh..

When I went to write the exam I wasnt anxious (just had that reminder this was my second try and if I blow it again then I have one last chance which equals going back to school to start again or change career path), i came out confident knowing I have done my best from late night studying,coping with the death of my loved one, getting sick..Ha it just had to be God..I was waiting to get a fulltime job before I blog about it, but I just couldnt wait another day to share my joy..

Fellow bloggers, thanks for the encouragement, it meant so much throughout the past 3months of tears and worrying..I am so happy..Oya oh lets celebrate with this songs..I dont even know what to saaaaaay..HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOD I AM VERY GREATFUL..You continue to prove that you are faithful even when I am faithless. Even when I almost gave up, You still cheered me on..What more can I ask for but that I have a loving Father in heaven..YOU are the best LORD...kisses

2nd tag- 10 things about me

Hello people :-)..So  I decided to do the 10 randoms that Destiny+Ync=success awarded me..Sorry I am late but  I am doing as promised...

1- I drink alot of water and I am yet to meet a person that beat me to it.  I do not have a medical condition I am fascinated by its goodness and I dont know why others dont see it :-).

2.My stomach remains flat even after eating else I drink pop, and people  get fooled by my stomach trying to talk me to eating not knowing I have consumed a mountain of food. In my house I eat healthy but when I go out I dont as much.

3. Before and during my period men become extra nice to me, they wink, chase me around the store or some weirdness. *-*

4. I like to think I make one of the best pasta sauce thanks to the recipe from my sweet old male italian patient. I wrote it down, he made sure I had the right things.. Key ingredients are oregno, garlic, olive oil and fresh pasta not the kpekere we call pasta according to him.

5. My male patient once grabbed my butt as per support system when he almost fell.. I was like WHAT!!!!! the oyibo baba was smiling oh..imagine..i was wondering when oyibo start to like bombom

6. I have had pee urine juice courtsey of my patient who i was tryna irrigate a cather (tube) in her bladder. There was resistance and because my mouth was open, the pee came splashing to my face, hair and into my mouth. I remember the taste till today yummy :-(. My supervisor called it my initiation into the profession. ^-^

7. When I go to African restaurants or parties, I eat only jollof rice and chicken ; kinda defeats the whole purpose of going cos I can make that in my house. You see when I first came to this country, I went to an African restaurant and ate eba or poundi and soup. I will never forget how I stayed up all night to answer the call of nature. It wasnt funny oh plus the fact that my money went with every flush of the toilet.  I do takeaway for the real deal incase anything happens. But when I go to non African food gallor, I eat only what I can describe to the Doctor incase yawa burst. Someone once said only eat what your grandma can pronounce to the doctor.

8. I do not like using people's (even friends) toilet to poop. I rather poop in a public toilet that in a friends house. You see one time I dunno what I ate but my poop blocked someone's toilet and no plunger was there. Imagine the continuous flushing and the horror of kicking the toilet so the poop can dislodge . Since then, I will hold my poop  or guage what i eat  when I visit people. Thats one reason I stay over at someone's house the highest 3 days. If you come to my washroom there is always a plunger incase.

9. I dont know how to use swear words highest I will jokingly say oh shet! pardon my french or like back home  I will jokingly call you a chicken or bighead or totrtise wife dunno upon still I will say sorry for calling you that..The first time I cursed alarm blow o , my friends said I should never try it because it doesnt fit me
-_-..I didnt know swearing fits certain people sha. I Just find it funny.I am not trying to learn either just saying.

10. When it comes to God and my spirituality, I do not compromise. Its not negotiable.

Okay so thats me..I hope you got an idea of who I am..:) Have a wonderful week ...