Hi everyone, Thanks for your lovely comment as always :-) I hope your week is going great?..Its almost Chrsitmas!
So I just read LadyNgo's post...lol.She is funny..Ok moving on..Recently I have been asked why do I say I will not date a particular male friend of mine suppose he ask me out plus we look good together..This guy is just awesome, I mean intelligent, good head on his neck ;), God fearing, gentle, calm, very respectful, involve in church, humble!, neat, ambituous, good family, friendly, tall, fit, nice voice :D, oya add the list :)...Well my thing is yea he seem to have everything, I mean we havegreat good chemistry, we can talk for hours having meaningful conversations, we seem to understand each other, He accepts my invites when he can make, we respect each other, my friends all like him even my aunt was trying talk me into him, he has been there for me, and he tells me his plans and all..BUT I cant date him even if he ask me out..
Why?
Well, when I was in school and single, I met him and we became friends. We had good long conversations, went to church together, and all the above I mentioned. Thing is we flirted back and forth even if I never admitted to my friend I dont mind dating him at the time. I mean everything was jolly jolly, we joke about marriage and talk about important things. Then on one lovely afternoon, my computer decided to act up, given that this dude is an engineer, I called him up and was like what do I do? So we concluded that I will backup all my files in his usb since I didnt have a usb with so much gigs as his. So I dressed up, headed to the school library. On getting there, we started doing the backup while gisting and laughingand flirting. Then I was like can I see some of your pics since its only fb pics I see..He was hesistant. I pushed his hand off his laptop and clicked on the picture folder..As it opened, I saw a file named "baby" *-* (in my head i'm like bay gini?)..Huh? I clicked on it, lo and behold different pictures of a pretty girl .He was quiet and he had a look on his face (you know the look of a rat you catch in your kitchen eating your fish? yea he had that look on his face) I said, is she your girlfriend? he said yeaa...I said oh she is pretty..So where is she and how long have you been dating? He said she was in Naija and they have been dating for about 3 years then i think..I said, cool...so is she planning to move over or you are relocating back home after school? dude said he will visit in 2013 abi na 2016...I was shocked in my head oh..Really? I mean thats a long time away..Neways long story short, I felt so so stupid like how can I start liking another woman's man..Seriously? I do not share, so I wont like another woman to share with me..So, I backed off asap and I told myself never to flirt with any guy except my hubby of course. The feelings that was about to develop kukuma died oh..Few days later, he blocked his friendlist on fb. Neways around the time I broke off with the ex-mr was the time he broke up with his gf..my friends were like, finally! there is hope..I said uhm who cares?..
Why do Nigerian guys act weird when they move abroad? thats a topic for another day sha..its weiiiiiird..
So, my reason for saying I wont date him if he present himself is, even if we seem to be really cool with each other and somewhat close (cos I backed off more even after his breakup), if he could be flirting with me and all that jazz why his babe in naija might be thinking her bobo was faithful, then I would have a hard time trusting him if I date him..I mean how do someone act cool like they are not taken when in reality they are taken? I just think its not fair, cos if i didnt find out through the laptop incident, he didnt seem like he will say anything..That seem like a case of lemme lead you on and have a spare tire just incase..Although we are still very good friends right now, I was really disappointed. Also, it wasnt fair to his gf at that time, I know distance distance no easy, thats why I always I will not promise you I will come back for you when leaving a country for long (especially transatlantic love) because I do not know what type of cupid arrow awaits me there. I just feel like in future, if we start dating and he has to relocate to another country or place, he might repeat the same thing which I wont like..Bottom line, he is my friend but I do not or cant trust him to be my partner even if he is ......
So what do you think? too shallow a reason or not? Oya lets yarn..
Have a wonderful week :-)
So I just read LadyNgo's post...lol.She is funny..Ok moving on..Recently I have been asked why do I say I will not date a particular male friend of mine suppose he ask me out plus we look good together..This guy is just awesome, I mean intelligent, good head on his neck ;), God fearing, gentle, calm, very respectful, involve in church, humble!, neat, ambituous, good family, friendly, tall, fit, nice voice :D, oya add the list :)...Well my thing is yea he seem to have everything, I mean we have
Why?
Well, when I was in school and single, I met him and we became friends. We had good long conversations, went to church together, and all the above I mentioned. Thing is we flirted back and forth even if I never admitted to my friend I dont mind dating him at the time. I mean everything was jolly jolly, we joke about marriage and talk about important things. Then on one lovely afternoon, my computer decided to act up, given that this dude is an engineer, I called him up and was like what do I do? So we concluded that I will backup all my files in his usb since I didnt have a usb with so much gigs as his. So I dressed up, headed to the school library. On getting there, we started doing the backup while gisting and laughing
So, my reason for saying I wont date him if he present himself is, even if we seem to be really cool with each other and somewhat close (cos I backed off more even after his breakup), if he could be flirting with me and all that jazz why his babe in naija might be thinking her bobo was faithful, then I would have a hard time trusting him if I date him..I mean how do someone act cool like they are not taken when in reality they are taken? I just think its not fair, cos if i didnt find out through the laptop incident, he didnt seem like he will say anything..That seem like a case of lemme lead you on and have a spare tire just incase..Although we are still very good friends right now, I was really disappointed. Also, it wasnt fair to his gf at that time, I know distance distance no easy, thats why I always I will not promise you I will come back for you when leaving a country for long (especially transatlantic love) because I do not know what type of cupid arrow awaits me there. I just feel like in future, if we start dating and he has to relocate to another country or place, he might repeat the same thing which I wont like..Bottom line, he is my friend but I do not or cant trust him to be my partner even if he is ......
So what do you think? too shallow a reason or not? Oya lets yarn..
Have a wonderful week :-)
i think you need to define "flirt" in this context. like were you dating? if no, then i think he wasnt all that wrong not to tell you he had a girlfriend. you too said you had a bf at that time.
ReplyDeletemy conclusion, if you really like him, date him.............erm, dunno what to say bout the possibility of him flirting with another girl
I don't think your reasoning is shallow at all. You were right to back off when you did, and you're right to have your reservations about him. I don't think he was entirely dis-honest with you though. I think he wasn't honest with his girlfriend. And with that said, that very well could have been you.
ReplyDeleteMsBuki took the words out of my mouth. Since he knew you were flirting with him, i think he should have come out clean and told you he had a girlfriend back home. And yes, it's almost as if he kept you as a spare tire in case it didn't work out eventually with his babe. If i were in your shoes, i might even ask him if he would have told me if i hadn't stumbled upon the pixs in his laptop.
ReplyDeletei think that is a perfect reason for not dating him. if you can't trust a man to be with you and only you regardless of distance then there is really no reason to be with him. i always say our instincts are always right on. i commend you and don't think your reasons are shallow at all :)
ReplyDeleteUvG, when/if he asks you out, tell him your reservations. if he gives an answer that soothes you good. If he doesnt, move on. guys are weird like that (did you ever ask him point blank if he had a gf?). not all readily admit to having gfs to new female friends because they want to prevent the kind of reaction you exhibited. Then again, the motives arent necessarily innocent!
ReplyDeleteSee i knew it wasn't just me! lol. This is part of what i was talking about. How can you date someone who you've witnessed misbehaving when he was in a relationship- even if he is perfect for you in every other way! Can't happen.
ReplyDeleteSidenote: thanks for the shoutout :)
Okay, the ladies are really on form today.
ReplyDeleteThe fact that he had a GF and he you guys were supposedly 'close' without him telling you is a red flag. It might not necessarily be a case of 'spare tyre' but he should have been open and honest.
Apart from that, he would have just been the 'perfect' pick for you. ;-)