Hello!.
So today I told my family the story of ex-mr. My brother was furious and called me all sort of names. I cried and continue to switch off the phone. Spoke to my mentor who encouraged me to hold on as I deserve much better. I understand why my family is outrage because na me take hand spoil family relationship. How do I mean you say? Well I have learnt never to discuss family matter with anyone not even fiance until you are married. More so, despite being married or single, always hold your family members and friends in high esteem in front of anyone.
You see I have a family friend who has taken it upon herself to cater to my every need to ease the responsibility on my parents. This friend goes as far as paying all my bills and giving me extra kudi to hold. Thing is, we have a great close relationship even with the kids and all. So, when ex-mr came on the scene, being that i was single for (x-years), I told my family friend about him. This friend was so excited that she paid his ticket to come visit me, she calls him, they were close like siblings. She even cried when we had problems. So, when cater cater bust during my relationship with ex-mr, he called up my family friend and told her and her husband everything I told him in confidence about the family out of sheer concern. I wasn't even aware of it even when me and him settled and decided to work on the relationship. So for weeks I noticed my family friend was acting strange towards me. Then one day, she called me and asked about the relationship. I said oh we are back together taking it one day at a time; then she said she has been avoiding me for a reason she knows I wasn't aware of. Well, she told me everything the ex-mr said to her, she was disgusted and embarrassed. She mentioned that the ticket money was suppose to be for other stuffs because she lied about it. But the ex-mr told the husband everything. I was like oh WOW! ^_^ (shouting in my head CHINEKENAM OH!).
You know I was so shocked that I didn't speak to him throughout the day. So, when I asked ex-mr, he said oh it was out of anger (ladies and gentle men dont marry an angry person oh!you deserve better else he/she will ruin your life even if you clock 40year still single dont do it out of desperation, you will regret because you are better off single than staying with an angry man/woman. What if he/she gets out of control someday and choke you to death nko? you will say because my clock was ticking so I had to tick back abi? ok na). Then the blame shifted to me saying how come I didn't call him up immediately blah blah. I said how will you miss such info, you didnt tell me till about two weeks later?? He said sorry but continue to blame me and set new rules of always clarifying with him before making conclusions (ladies and gent be cautious when the blame shifts to you, a wrong the other person did, that is MANIPULATION). I said okay fair enough and apologized (mumuism number 1). Abusers manipulate you and always make you feel sorry.
Thing is, my family friend stop talking to me, and my family wasn't aware as they have been friends with my parents for over 20+ years.
Worst thing was, because my family was experiencing financial difficulty, this family friend decided to pay a loan off on my behalf so I could graduate and get a job then repay later. But with ex-mr's anger being his cheerleader, that opportunity, well I dunno. I am hoping and praying for God to make a way. With regards to the loan payment, my parents were not aware that this family friend was taken that burden to do it.
Now that they are aware of what was said and how my relationship with someone who is so close to us has scattered, we keep praying God in his infinite mercy will touch their hearts to forgive me. I do not want the loan, all I want is my relationship with my family friend restored.
I got the opportunity to attend a bridal shower today woohooo! it was fun, most of the advice I got as a single lady there was, dont rush into marriage oh, else you will rush out (LOL, i was picturing how rats run in and out of the house after stealing). Take your time. My pastor says, dont ask God for a sign to know if a man/woman is the one for you because you will open your thoughts to other spirits to confuse you. I was like cool stuff.
Till next time people. I hope everyone is learning, if not for yourself but for a family or friend.. Note the signs, I was taught the signs of abusive relationship in school, I work with people in them, I thought I knew it all. But hey, the hunter sometimes becomes the hunted.. So set your traps well..
P.s ex-mr is still texting and calling ^-^. Another strategy is not to read the text nor listen to the voicemails so that my emotions dont play tricks on me to pity him and take him back. I do pray God helps him and he should refrain from stalking my friends on facebook o-O...
P.s.s I am doing well, I wen to church, this blog is my personal diary so I am coping well. A friend said she hopes I made the right decision. LOL really? oh yes I did
Como stats my followers.. Be blessed.. Have a great week ahead...pass on the message
So today I told my family the story of ex-mr. My brother was furious and called me all sort of names. I cried and continue to switch off the phone. Spoke to my mentor who encouraged me to hold on as I deserve much better. I understand why my family is outrage because na me take hand spoil family relationship. How do I mean you say? Well I have learnt never to discuss family matter with anyone not even fiance until you are married. More so, despite being married or single, always hold your family members and friends in high esteem in front of anyone.
You see I have a family friend who has taken it upon herself to cater to my every need to ease the responsibility on my parents. This friend goes as far as paying all my bills and giving me extra kudi to hold. Thing is, we have a great close relationship even with the kids and all. So, when ex-mr came on the scene, being that i was single for (x-years), I told my family friend about him. This friend was so excited that she paid his ticket to come visit me, she calls him, they were close like siblings. She even cried when we had problems. So, when cater cater bust during my relationship with ex-mr, he called up my family friend and told her and her husband everything I told him in confidence about the family out of sheer concern. I wasn't even aware of it even when me and him settled and decided to work on the relationship. So for weeks I noticed my family friend was acting strange towards me. Then one day, she called me and asked about the relationship. I said oh we are back together taking it one day at a time; then she said she has been avoiding me for a reason she knows I wasn't aware of. Well, she told me everything the ex-mr said to her, she was disgusted and embarrassed. She mentioned that the ticket money was suppose to be for other stuffs because she lied about it. But the ex-mr told the husband everything. I was like oh WOW! ^_^ (shouting in my head CHINEKENAM OH!).You know I was so shocked that I didn't speak to him throughout the day. So, when I asked ex-mr, he said oh it was out of anger (ladies and gentle men dont marry an angry person oh!you deserve better else he/she will ruin your life even if you clock 40year still single dont do it out of desperation, you will regret because you are better off single than staying with an angry man/woman. What if he/she gets out of control someday and choke you to death nko? you will say because my clock was ticking so I had to tick back abi? ok na). Then the blame shifted to me saying how come I didn't call him up immediately blah blah. I said how will you miss such info, you didnt tell me till about two weeks later?? He said sorry but continue to blame me and set new rules of always clarifying with him before making conclusions (ladies and gent be cautious when the blame shifts to you, a wrong the other person did, that is MANIPULATION). I said okay fair enough and apologized (mumuism number 1). Abusers manipulate you and always make you feel sorry.
Thing is, my family friend stop talking to me, and my family wasn't aware as they have been friends with my parents for over 20+ years.
Worst thing was, because my family was experiencing financial difficulty, this family friend decided to pay a loan off on my behalf so I could graduate and get a job then repay later. But with ex-mr's anger being his cheerleader, that opportunity, well I dunno. I am hoping and praying for God to make a way. With regards to the loan payment, my parents were not aware that this family friend was taken that burden to do it.
Now that they are aware of what was said and how my relationship with someone who is so close to us has scattered, we keep praying God in his infinite mercy will touch their hearts to forgive me. I do not want the loan, all I want is my relationship with my family friend restored.
I got the opportunity to attend a bridal shower today woohooo! it was fun, most of the advice I got as a single lady there was, dont rush into marriage oh, else you will rush out (LOL, i was picturing how rats run in and out of the house after stealing). Take your time. My pastor says, dont ask God for a sign to know if a man/woman is the one for you because you will open your thoughts to other spirits to confuse you. I was like cool stuff.
Till next time people. I hope everyone is learning, if not for yourself but for a family or friend.. Note the signs, I was taught the signs of abusive relationship in school, I work with people in them, I thought I knew it all. But hey, the hunter sometimes becomes the hunted.. So set your traps well..
P.s ex-mr is still texting and calling ^-^. Another strategy is not to read the text nor listen to the voicemails so that my emotions dont play tricks on me to pity him and take him back. I do pray God helps him and he should refrain from stalking my friends on facebook o-O...
P.s.s I am doing well, I wen to church, this blog is my personal diary so I am coping well. A friend said she hopes I made the right decision. LOL really? oh yes I did
Como stats my followers.. Be blessed.. Have a great week ahead...pass on the message
